THE PURIM STORY {abridged version}

Many many hours ago in a far away hemisphere in a weird country that is hanging on to the globe for its "dear" life lived a king his name was Chaim he ruled. okok enough of that, basically tanis ester ended with the laining of the miggilah which I expertly lained 5 times that night first in doublebay, then in some old woman's house, then in yeshivah, then in yeshivah, then in yeshivah. After the break-fast in my chabad house {Doublebay} I went to Dover Heights they had a pretty wild party going so, we ate, drank and were quite merry. Then I get a call from the rosh yeshivah begging me to go to this house to read the migilah, so I did. They paid me 20 bux au and a bottle of Jack Daniels, but, they are both long gone now. Then I went to South Head for some more rocking fun. They had a couple of pool tables, ping pong tables, and fuzzball tables, and some other games which are so exciting to play when you cant follow the stupid ball. They also had a bbq which was nice I had a double whopper, anyway then I went to yeshivah were there was live music and very lively dancing. I made the mistake of going outside to get a bit of air because the room we were dancing in had a poor air conditioner and the people that arranged the party were evidently not thinking well and hadn't bought any water, just carbonated sugery drinks which don't get me wrong are good, but everything has its time and place and this was neither the time nor the place for soda I needed water so when I got out side I has approached by three teenagers whom hadn't heard miggilah ever, not this year not last ........ so i lained for them. Then I went to get the fresh air I was talking about earlier I finally found it when, I get a call on my cell from my cousins cousin Chaim Hillel Markovitz to please lain for his mother who had moments before landed in Australia from L.A. were she had gone for her nieces wedding {mazel tov mazel tov} so I did. Then I went back inside to dance, eat, and drink which I did well if I may say so myself. Then I was about to go to a different party but on my way to my ride I got stooped by a young couple who hadn't heard miggilah yet, so I lained for them missing my ride, but altz is bihashgocho protis, the party ended before the guys got there so the only thing I missed was a ride in a car with 4 drunk guys and one who said he was sober, so then I went back to my eating, drinking, dancing, and drinking. I then crashed for the night in my bed, yes I made it to my bed at about 3:00am. Thankfully I had set my alarm clock the previous morning. I woke up at about 6:55 am { I didn't know that hour existed [the truth is I didn't know much when I woke up that morning]} because i had to lain at 7:30 in my chabad house so I got up and when I went to mikva I left the water a little red glee to it, which was comforting knowing I had a chance at getting it all out. Anyway I lained there, then came back to yeshivah davened and laind there, then went to Sydney high school and lained there, then I came back to yeshiah lained again. Then I delivered a bunch of shalochmanos, then I get a call that I was scheduled to lain five minutes ago wich by the way never happened the guy lied. Anyway being the nice guy I am I dropped the world almost knocking Australia off the globe, thankfully Hercules caught it, and I went to lain. After laining [17 minutes latter] people started coming for the Asian bufey purim party were we ate, drank, were merry, and drank, and as you may have guessed a few people came that hadn't heard miggilah, so, I lained once again then I continued parting there until around 9 pm when the party ended and I went to Dover Heights were there was a crazy awesome.... party going on, they had some famous people there like Johnny Depp {Captain Jack Sparrow} and P. Diddy. Anyway we partied there, sang, ate, drank, danced, drank, ate, and drank. Then I went to R. P Feldmas house for a farbrengen slash party wich was pretty cool to, or so they tell me. anyway I woke up in my bed the next morning, okok a little exaggeration the next afternoon and they lived happily ever after.

And yes the red did come out.